


Surrender

by Azalee



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: AU, Angst, Dark Romance, Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fantasy, Obsessive Love, Psychological, TW: sexual assault happens at one point NOT through Yoosung tho, Yandere, Yandere Yoosung, Yoosung will never sexually assault or rape MC, alternative universe, possessive love, relationship dynamics unhealthy like coca cola, tradgedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-27
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2020-09-28 00:10:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 13,736
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20416640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Azalee/pseuds/Azalee
Summary: [ AU ] MC only lives for her education. Her own happiness gets abandoned. She tries to escape from the devouring loneliness, until she starts to dream about a boy called Yoosung. Soon his violet eyes also haunt her throughout the day and while she tries to keep herself to believe these are purely dreams of illusion, she gets to discover that Yoosung is real and that he wants more from her than she is able to give yet.





	1. Prolog

**Author's Note:**

> “If the heart doesn’t love, it becomes homeless. If there is no love, then why do people live?”  
Omar Khayyam
> 
> I hope you have fun reading!
> 
> Fanfiction Title inspired by the Song "Surrender" from Evanescence

The dizziness weighted heavy on MC. Her body yearned for sleep, her eyes falling shot, her head nodding forwards often. But she couldn't! The yearning for mother was much heavier, she was only a little girl after all, missing her overworked parent. Just a bit of talk. Just a hug, a bit of precious rare time. That's all she wanted.

Finally she heard the keys rustling. She jumped off the bed with newfound energy, running to the opening door. 

"MOMMY!"

Her mothers eyes widened with suprize, but it was a short sight. MC's little body hugged her closely, shedding tears.

"I missed you so much!" , she cried out.

Her mother's voice was scolding: "How many times did I tell you, you have sleep early! MC..."

"But I missed you, so so much..."

"MC..."

She came down, returning the hug tightly. MC took a deep breath of her sweet, calming perfume. That was all she wanted. 

"I missed you too. More than you could imagine."

They stayed like that for a while until her mother loosened the hug and closed the door. 

"Just five minutes alright? You need your sleep."

"Okay!" , MC replied joyfully with a big smile and sat down on the couch.

Her mother sat down beside her and took her on her lap. MC observed her face. Even the big dark circles under her eyes couldn't hide how beautiful she was. 

"But Mommy, you need sleep too you know."

"I will do my best, darling. After all, you know I need to work that much. I am sorry that we have such little time together, but I promise it will get better."

"Pinky Promise?"

She laughed and stretched out her finger: "Pinky Promise!"

MC buried her face in her neck. Her perfume was so calming. Like a proof that she was really here, and not far away.

"I am doing my best, so you can become successful. That is my dream. That you won't end up like me... Study something, make good money. That you will be an independent woman... That won't get fooled by men."

"I will become a doctor. And buy you a big beautiful castle. You will be so proud of me!"

She laughed: "I believe in that. You are a smart girl after all."

* * *


	2. Chapter 1 - Green New Vision

The book was laying in front of her on the small table, the clock on the wall sending ticking sounds through the tiny apartment. Her shift in the office was cancelled today, and the free time she had to pass now was unpleasant, like always. Studying and working usually kept her occupied enough to surpress the restless feelings that started to rise up from deep inside her. Then her insides would tingle with bitterness, her eyes prickle with tears that wouldn't release themselves. Breathing would be hard too, like as if a weight laid on her chest constantly.

She was already familiar with the new lessons, one of the top students in the first semester of Medicine. She studied hard, like she had always in her life and it showed. But as much as she wanted to, she couldn't be proud of herself. It meant nothing until she actually carried a diploma in her hands. Until she actually repaid all the effort her mother had put into her, working herself to death.

She read the lines she already knew perfectly by memory again and again, trying hard to stay away from the dark thoughts that slowly started to try to take her mind over. Nervously she rubbed her feet together, started to bite her nails. The ticking of the clock sounded mockingly, reminding her of how slowly the time passed. 

Abruptly she arose from the chair, grabbing her bag and keys. If she would continue like this, she would start brooding again. She needed some fresh air. 

* * *

She sat down on a bench, watching her surroundings. Little children played with each other, laughing loudly. On the bench of the other side sat their mothers, chatting with each other with lipstick smiles. A couple passed her, with a golden retriever. The girl shot a loving, adoring glance to her man beside her. 

They all looked so happy.

Of course they were happy. They had someone dear after all. A family. Friends. Partners. 

Even if they experienced bad times, loving arms would comfort them.

What did they think of her, sitting here all alone?

Her eyes prickled with tears, her belly started to ache. No this wasn't helping her at all. She needed to go home again. She grabbed her bag and went off.

* * *

When she arrived home, she felt exhausted. She was grateful for that, sleeping was a welcomed refuge. She quickly changed into her pyjamas and cuddled into the blanket. It didn't take long until her mind drifted away into the world of dreams.

Green scenery surrounded her. Sunlit trees, fresh grass. An open place of nature, seeming endless. The blue skies above the fields were lovely. She felt at peace here, secure. 

She followed the path in front of her, into a little forest. Through the branches the bright sunlight shone through. A rabbit passed her path. Butterflies settled on beautiful yellow flowers. 

She wanted to continue her walk when she suddenly felt something strange. A yearning feeling. A bittersweet longing and a weird excitement, tingling within her stomach. 

It felt almost like magic. Like a spell. She took one step. Two steps. Then she followed the feeling, letting it be her guide. Her breath rose. When was the last time she felt this alive? Her steps fastened, faster and faster. She wanted to know the reason!

Finally a sight caught her eyes. A blond boy, standing with his back to her.

Why did her heart just jump?

It jumped again, pumping faster and faster. It felt like adrenaline rushed through her, hot and prickling, through her whole body. The longing rose up, made her body ache. It didn't make sense.

His head lifted up, yet he didn't turn around. Could he sense her too? 

She walked closer and stopped a few steps behind him. 

He slowly turned around. Almost too slowly. 

The first thing that caught her attention were the violet eyes. Bright violet, seeming to shine as bright as the sunlight did through the branches. They were wide in surprize, intense, making her hold her breath. Their gazes meeting, was like a chemical reaction that confused her utterly, setting her mind off. 

He slowly walked up to her. They were about the same height and he looked around the same age. He was wearing a blue jacket and a white shirt underneath and a pair of jeans. His blond hair was a creative mess, his gaze full of utter joy. 

His mouth opened up, he started to speak. His voice was full of life and youthful, having a pleasant sound.

"After searching for so long, you were the one who found me! It's strange! It's so strange, isn't it?" 

He smiled, and then he laughed, a clear pure sound, sending butterflies to her stomach. It was addicting, she couldn't help but return it.

"You were searching for me? Who are you?" ,she asked curiously.

His features grew soft: "You are the reason why I even exist. But let me introduce myself. I'm Yoosung." 

"That's a beautiful name." , MC replied. 

He beamed: "Thank you! Your name is beautiful too MC."

A cheeky grin crossed his lips.

"How do you know my name?" , she replied and rose her brows.

"That's a story I will definitely tell you when the time has come.", He statedd. She wanted to answer to that but he quickly changed the topic. 

"Let us talk for a bit" ,he asked and his gaze looked yearning. "I want to get to know you first. I waited for so long. For so long..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My focus just left me at the end of the chapter oof. I will continue soon. But my focus just won't come back to me right now :/
> 
> Until later volks.


	3. Chapter 2 - Close your Eyes

Chapter 3

They were walking, side by side, through the green forest. He looked so happy that it made her feel at ease. 

"I wonder what kind of person you are. I know a little bit about you yet, but it's not much. I always wondered…", he asked, his eyes sparkling. 

"Uhm…" she hesitated, averting her eyes. "There's not much to tell. I am not really an interesting person." 

She felt how her face frowned. The sun hid behind the clouds, the forest becoming darker.

"I don't think so." ,she heard him answer. 

He was kind, for sure. But wrong.

She looked him straight into the eyes and continued: "Look. I… I am not very a sociable person. I don't go out. I don't meet people, I don't have a single friend... and my family is dead. All I do is studying, working and watching TV. That what I do all day… I'm boring."

"You rather come off as the moony type to me. I'm sure you have a big imagination and that you are too shy to show the beautiful colors inside you to the outside. That's the impression you make to me" , he said with a smile.

She felt her cheeks and chest growing hot, the sun was coming out again. She didn't know what to say. 

"Besides,what you told me doesn't make you uninteresting to me. It's also not explaining who you are as a person.", he added.

"You… are weird.", she stated bluntly.

He looked concerned 

"Why? Am I weirding you out?", he asked.

MC raised her hands, eyes growing big.

"No… that's not it! It's just that… You…. you are so kind… that it's making me speechless."

His frown changed into a content smile, a blush on his face. "Then I'm glad!"

He looked so beautiful in the way he spread his happiness. She had to remind herself often to not stare at him every few seconds.

"MC?"

"Yes?"

"Imagine something. Right now", he requested and winked.

"What? Why?"

"Just do it. Trust me", he answered.

"Okay",she replied and closed her eyes. To imagine something… the thoughts started to form in her mind. The first thing were violet flowers, just the same tone as the eyes of a certain boy. The skies a deeper tone of purple, full of sparkling stars. At one point they poured into a waterfall, forming a river in the field of flowers, glowing beautifully. A bright moon was shining in the sky. 

It was like painting, which she hadn't done in ages. 

"Open your eyes." ,she heard him say.

She did so and… they stood in the same scenery she just had imagined. Her mouth fell open, her eyes staring in awe. It was lovely to see it being real like this. So, so lovely.

Yoosung shot her a sparkling gaze: "I was right." 

"Did… did I just do that?" , she stammered.

"Yes and it is amazing." His voice was gentle 

She looked at him. She wanted to do something in return for this kindness.

She picked up a few flowers and impulsively handed them to him, shyly, with a short "Thank you.". He took them in his hands carefully, observed them, seeming to notice something about them. He seemed happy, with a blush across his face.

"It seems I learned something new about you now… You are cute."

"Thank you", she mumbled, averting her gaze ashamed. This was awkward. And he was the cute one, not her.

It was strange. He was the one talking about how he wanted to get to know her, but instead she felt like the one wanting to know him. 

"You seem to think something. You can tell me.", he asked.

MC hesitated, then admitted her thought: "I want to get to know you too, Yoosung."

He seemed to like that. He literally beamed: "I look forward to it."

* * *

Even ten minutes after waking up, MC laid in her bed, thinking about that dream. Never did she had such a strange one. It had felt so real, her senses had felt so strong and focused. It really confused her.

But an other impression was stronger imprinted on her.

It had been so beautiful. She hadn't felt that good in a long time. Filled with joy, excitement. Feeling actually alive… 

This boy. He had been… magical. So cute. So kind. Like a prince from the stars.

Someone only a dream could create.

And she would never see him again. 

The thought made her sad. She knew he wasn't real. She wasn't delusional, after all. But still… even while it was a dream, a concept of her fantasies, it was something she wanted to enjoy further...

  
  
  



	4. Chapter 3 - Fly with me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is trash
> 
> Im so sorry. I had lost inspiration at that point but found it again. 
> 
> I wont ever write again when im uninspired. 
> 
> Anyway, i deleted the last part of this chapter and left it open.
> 
> For that i put more work into the next one

Going to the Uni, listening to the lectures, working in the office, going home. 

The day went off so much faster today. 

It was because her mind was constantly drifting away, being occupied with the dream she had last night. Rethinking it, remembering how beautiful his violet eyes were. It was rare to be joyful and it wouldn't last long, she knew that. But as long as it kept her occupied, she would embrace it, for sure. 

Laying in her bed, she wondered if she could dream about something like that again. It wasn't very likely, but the thought was nice. She eventually fell asleep soundly.

* * *

White October skies greeted her. The air foggy and chilly, leaves falling from the trees and covering the ground in orange. She stood on a clear place in the evergreen forest,admiring the big mountains in the distance. 

"MC!" , she heard her name being called.

She turned around, to spot the figure a few metres behind her. Her eyes grew big, the same excited feeling from back then was tingling in her stomach: "Yoosung!"

She was so happy to see him, that she started to run up to him. She was almost hugging him out of joy, when she remembered that it was only the second time they met each other and stopped awkwardly.

"I… I am so happy to see you!" MC stated. 

Yoosung smiled: "Me too! I was looking forward to see you again!" 

"I planned something for today," he explained. "Do you see the top of the mountain?" 

He pointed to it.

"Yes I do."

"We will be there to enjoy the view very soon," he explained and grinned.

"But it's so far away!" MC answered. "How shall we arrive there that fast?" 

He looked excited when he reached out his hand. "Take it."

"What?" she said.

"If it's okay for you of course! It will make the thing I planned easier." Now he blushed.

She hesitated a bit. Then she reached out… and gripped it. 

In the second his skin was touching hers, something was rushing through her like a lightning. A bittersweet feeling she couldn't explain. It made her eyes teary, her heart ache and at the same time flutter with warm joy. A picture formed in her mind, a beautiful shooting star. It seemed familiar… 

It was a short moment, then she was in the actual moment again. Yoosung mustered her curiously: "Are you okay?" 

"Yes. " MC assured. Then she said without a thought: "Holding your hand feels very good."

His eyes grew big and his face red like a tomato. He turned it away.: "You are very direct..."

MC felt shame rush through her: "No no I mean… I… I'm awkward sometimes." 

"Don't apologize. I'm glad you said it," Yoosung explained. He turned his head back to her and his eyes sparkled. It was beautiful. 

"Now back again to what we were doing," he coughed. MC?"

"Yes?"

"Jump with me when I count to three."

She nodded. 

"One.. two… three!"

They jumped, rising away from the ground, upwards. MC gasped, realised they were floating in the air. Weightlessly. 

"How can this happen? We are flying! I am ACTUALLY FLYING!" she shouted excitedly, like a little child. She laughed and let go of his hand, zooming through the air. Yoosung watched her with a big smile. That was exactly what he has had in mind. 

"I only dreamed about this before but I never expected it could really happen!" 

She looked back again at Yoosung. "How did you do this? Thank you so much!"

He beamed like the sun: "A little secret, yet. You are very welcome!"

"Let us fly higher!" MC offered. Yoosung joined her and they were flying over the hills for some time, side by side enjoying the view. The wind rushed through their hair and despite that the air was cold, they were not freezing. 

This was wonderful, MC thought. She didn't feel lonely anymore. Beside him, she felt… happy.

Happy... happy...


	5. Chapter 4 - A Glimpse of Light, a Glimpse of Shadow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am again, trying to repair my fic from the very bad quality of the previous chapter. I get a bit impatient to continue, thus i .... Just did. Now its going to head into the direction i want to. I want to say sorry to everyone for the bad quality of the previous chapter. 
> 
> I ruined the previous chapter because i lost inspiration and forced myself. But now i found it again.
> 
> From this point on MC dreamed of Yoosung since a week and a few days. 
> 
> I never finished a multichapter story. I always get very afraid of ruining it. But i want to write this one for fun and i wont be so fiddly about it anymore
> 
> Have fun!

She sat in front of the tiny TV and stared at it with empty eyes. It was like white noise was rushing through her core, like a dark hole inside her sucking in everything. Her loneliness was choking her and hearing the voices from the TV was the only thing that kept her from crying.

She had tried to talk to an other female student since the past week, trying to befriend her. But through her poor social skills and social anxiety, she had ruined everything and had done a fool out of herself. She had seen it in her eyes, had heard it in her voice...

A noise got her out of her outspacing state. She blinked and paid attention to what was actually happening on the TV. A soap opera, where a woman broke down. Her eyes went wide and her mind blank. The sick feeling in her stomach got much worse and she switched the channel as fast as her fingers could. 

To get triggered was the last thing that she needed now.. 

She layed down on her side and curled up into a ball. Tears rolled down her face and finally the first sobs escaped her... 

To have lost someone was one thing. It was a big hole torn out of ones soul, that nothing could ever fill again. The yearning was the cold wind that blew constantly through that empty space.   
But to be responsible for that death... it was a different thing... 

There was that side in her that wanted to run into her arms in that sweet memory world, getting comforted like back then. To bath in her mothers love. But then, there was that stingy guilt, holding her in place, reminding her that she wasn't deserving of that...

She sobbed, tugged the blanket.   
Suddenly a picture flashed into her inner eye. Violet eyes...  
Her sobbing stopped for a moment. She was confused. Why did she think of him now? But then recognized how that thought comforted her... 

With all her might she focused on that thought. On the memories of the many dreams she had since a week and a few days . That smile, that voice... Warmth filled her. She felt dizzy and suddenly very very tired. Her eyes closed and the picture of him became more and more intense, until she completely fell asleep. 

His face was close to hers, hovering above it. His hands layed on her shoulders. She stared into the eyes which held such an intense expression. It hypnotized her.

"You are crying...", he sounded so sad.

She still stared at him. Her heart was pounding fast. He was so close. Not just physically...

"I can feel your sadness. Our hearts are connected, after all...Tell me what it's about. Please."

She swallowed. There was a urge in her to close that distance and kiss him... 

As if to prevent that, he took her into a warm embrace. She buried her face into his chest. 

Now that she came to her senses again the sadness returned slowly. She whimpered and breathed in heavily.

She tried to form words: "Today was a bad day... I tried to befriend someone. But that is so hard. I made a fool out of myself... That disgusted look she shot at me... It was as if she could sense that I am actually a rotten person."

He tensed up. "Don't speak like that about yourself... Why would you ever be rotten of all people?" He patted her head. "You are anything but rotten." 

"I am. If you knew, you would despise me." 

"And if you knew who I am, you would know I would never despise you in any case." 

She broke the hug and looked confused at him.

"I don't get it... Why do I feel so close to you? You said you wanted to get know me, yet I feel like you actually do it very well..."

He turned his gaze away. "...I didn't want to overwhelm you and build our contact slowly... But that I searched for you for a long time that is true..." 

Then he turned his sad face to her "I am a real existing soul. But when you wake up, you won't believe any of these words..." 

"I don't understand." , MC answered and furrowed her brows.

He sighed. "That is okay for now. I want you to understand that I will never despise you. That is all that you need to know so far. And you are not rotten at all... I know that."

She held her breath: "Yoosung... Who are you?" 

He stayed silent. His eyes grew longing and then everything went dark and disappeared. All MC could see was a bright and big shooting star on a night sky,

Then she woke up. 

Her heart was beating so hard. Was this adrenaline? That dream had been so intense, almost too intense. A haunted part inside her informed her of danger. And the other big part felt intigrued and excited. 

But there was no danger.   
These dreams only were a big proof of how lonely she actually was.

Still... she felt so touched and reliefed that she was about to cry. Even if it was only in a dream, to hear to be unconditionally liked. It comforted her. 

Now she was that lonely that she searched for comfort in her imagination...

She sighed heavily, then she got up and made tea. 


	6. Chapter 5 - Little Steps, Giant Steps

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The pacing for this story is weird af. Can i even call it pacing? But I thought maybe it adds to the creepiness. Thats why i called that chapter little steps, giant steps. Yoosung is not human and he is a ticking time bomb in this story. He holds himself back with tiny steps but then takes giant steps.
> 
> Me writing a multichapter story feels like im riding a car on a busy street without never ever having rode one. Im just... trying. But its kind of fun. Maybe its just an experiment. I want to write this as a original story after i finish anyway :D

  
The classes today were exhausting as always. She walked out of the hall, holding her notebook close to her chest and sighed. What was she going to eat today? Spaghetti sounded like a good idea.

"Uhm... excuse me.", a voice said.  
Surprised MC turned around. In front of her stood the girl that she had tried to befriend the past week. The girl that had looked so disgusted and condescendingly at her.  
MC felt bad and wanted to escape. But then she recognized that the girl looked startled. Something was flickering in her gaze. Her eyebrows were furrowed, she was biting her lip. There were dark bags under her eyes.  
"You are the girl from the past days right? I want to apologize.", she asked.  
"...Huh?"  
"I am sorry!" , the girl stated.  
MC blinked confused at first, but then relief filled her, as if a brick fell of her chest. She smiled as warmth filled her.  
"Thank you so much... I want to apologize too if I-"  
But she couldn't finish her words. The girl nodded nervously and rushed away as if a bee stung her. MC blinked. She was very confused at that weird behaviour. But it was cute in a weird way how shy she had been about her apology.. She guessed people were kind in their hearts, after all. So, she just had been shy...

With a reliefed heart she went on her way to the office.

_________________

At home, she went for her desk. She had thought about Yoosung the whole day. And as the thoughts flowed, she felt the urge to draw this boy of her dreams.   
She opened her playlist and her pencil began to dance over the paper. She always had a thing for potraits but it had been too long since she had actually drawn something. Most of the time she had felt too depressed for it...

The lines started to form on the paper while she lost herself in the music and emotions. A cute smile on his lips, big round eyes beamed and gazed at the viewer. His tossled, chaotic hair added to that beauty.  
Now that she examined her finished drawing, she realised how handsome he actually was. She blushed.

Looking at this picture made her happy. She smiled and laid it into her college notebook.   
She could consider herself lucky to have these dreams, right? Surely a lot of girls would love to have such dreams. She shouldn't be so ashamed of it anymore...  
They felt far to good... even if they were a sign of her bad mental state, they were also a little bit of sunshine in her depressing dark life.   
So what if she fantasized a bit and let herself delve a bit in these imaginations?   
She didn't have anything to lose, anyway... 

She laid herself on the bed and let her thoughts flow with the music... He was close to her face, like in the dream a few days ago. She could feel his breath on her face. She wished he would kiss her... And he closed the distance.

His lips moved over hers, her hands in his hands. Her heart fluttered, like the butterflies in her tummy. She could smell the sweet fragnance of flowers. She drew him closer to her, his arms circled around her...

While imagining these things, eventually she fell asleep. 

__________________

She couldn't bear it anymore inside the castle hall. The ball was full of all these hypocrite people. Inside, she also had to pretend to be someone she wasn't. It was exhausting. 

She was upset. Upset about living a life she didn't want. The expensive dresses she wore, the impressions she had to make. To mask the flaws, and she was full of them to the tip of her head.

She wished for someone... to take her as she was. To give her company. She wished to live her life freely, like she wanted to.

"Hello.", a kind voice greeted her.

Surprised, she moved her head around. Who was there? 

It was Yoosung. He was sitting on the walls and smiled: "I think this dream kind of fits to you!"

"Dream?"

He walked over to her and offered his hand. He beamed: "Run away with me, princess." 

She blinked confused: "I think I do know you, b-but from where? I do not remember. And do you even know what you are saying? You could lose your head if someone hears you!" 

Panicked she looked around. 

"Im the prince from the stars and I am coming to get you. No one will stop me."

She blushed. 

He closed in and took her face into his hands. He smiled.  
"I will make you happy, I promise it, my princess."

His intense gaze took her breath away. Her heart hammered in her chest.

But then he broke away from her. A huge feeling of loss rushed over her.

"So will-"

It was like she was drunk. She stepped the steps he took back to close the distance again and took his face in her hands. He blushed and stared at her with wide eyes. Her heart raced. She leaned forward and-

He took a few steps back again.   
"This is harder for me than it is to you. So much harder..." ,he mumbled in a very frustrated voice.  
His face was red like a tomato. 

"Ahem... Anyway... Will you go with me?", he looked flustered. 

She looked around if anyone was nearby. Then she took his hand.

"I want to go with you..."

"Let's run." he said. 

They were running under the moonlight, through the forest. The castle behind her got smaller and smaller. 

She was so excited. Finally she was free! 

They arrived at a clearing. Exhausted from running, they took a moment to calm themselves down. They laid down on the grass beside each other and gasped for air.

"Yes, I do know you. From my dreams... Yoosung. Of course I do..", she remembered. "I wonder why I didn't remember."

"Mhm."

"MC what is a place you always wanted to visit?"

She thought about it: "Bahamas, to be honest. It sounds a bit clichee, but i would love to see these baby blue beaches with white sand."

"I will keep that in mind.", he replied.

"Where do you want to go one day?" she asked back curiously.

"My birth place" he responded instantly. 

She raised an eyebrow. "I really wonder what place that would be. How do you even remember it?"

"I was born at the age of four. And it's a very beautiful place. It means a lot to me." , he said wistfully.

Her curiousity grew. Finally she learned something about him."So you aren't human?" 

"No."

"Do you have parents?"

He thought about it: "The universe." 

"It fits to you."

He smiled warmly. "I love getting compliments from you."

"You do?"

"Yes. I love it very much." 

MC turned her head to him: "So if it's that way, You are handsome, kind, cheerful and you make me very happy."

He blushed. "Y-you are overwhelming me...Im so happy!" 

He stopped and then smiled. "Thank you... "

She smiled back. It was a warm moment.

"So if you are not human what are you? And what is that birth place?"

"MC... Would you like to hear a story?" he rose up from and sat one the soft grass. 

"Sure!", she chirped and sat up too.

He smiled at her in such a adoring way. "Once, there was a little girl, standing on the window sill of a tiny one room apartment. She was all alone and her heart ached. She was just a little innocent child, who wished for nothing more but someone to gift her company. Her loneliness was almost killing her, her mind earning sickness through it, that would follow her into the future. Tears were running down her face as she looked at the night sky. It was full of stars, a warm summer night." 

He looked sad, then continued: "But suddenly... she saw a shooting star. Not a usual one. It was bigger and brighter. It was special. So she had one wish, she thought. And what she wished for, with all her might... was company. Not just anyone. She wished that someone existed just to make her happy. Only for her and no one else. That he would always stay by her side and never abandon her... In that moment the soul of a young boy was born in the skies, at the age of the girl. In the moment he came to existence, the connection between their hearts was formed. The boy fell madly for the girl. It was something even deeper than love. He existed only for her and no one else..." 

With wide eyes she stared at him. Her heart was racing madly. She felt cold and hot at the same time. 

His gaze was intense, pinning her down to the place.

"The boy wanted to fulfill his destiny and go to the girl. He wanted nothing else. But as he moved, a force threw him far far away from her. And then that little boy was all alone. His young soul yearned and searched for years and years. He lived in pain and coldness but the hope held him alive. He couldn't understand what that force was that held him back. Why was it even there? And through the years , as he understood her pain and grew into a man, his feelings became even deeper... One day a miracle happened. The force disappeared. He was overjoyed but he knew he would overwhelm her. She may have been connected to him, but something in her mind had faded these sensations out all these years. It would have been too intense for her to see them all at once. So he had to hold himself back. And as she still won't believe that he is real, he will still have to do it even now." 

Her chest felt like bursting. That girl had been her. And that boy was him. She remembered. Tears run down her face. She was so moved. A bittersweet feeling filled her, tingled in her stomach. Bittersweet as the age of time. She could finally feel her connection to him. Her whole body shivered over the overwhelmingly intense emotions. 

"One day you will run away with me for real...MC...You will belong to me."

She woke up.

She was covered in sweat. Her bedsheets were damp and she gasped for air. Her head was spinning. She whimpered as the tears ran down her face, sobbed louder and louder... 


	7. Chapter 6 - Imaginary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello volks. A new chapter? Yes! Im coming close to a point that I can't wait to write. I hope you like it. Opinions are always appreciated.
> 
> Next chapter will get some drama.

  
Chapter 6 - Imaginary

Exhausted she brewed her coffee in the tiny kitchen, sighing deeply. That dream... Now she was surely in the process of losing her mind. She frowned. A sick feeling laid in her stomach. Would mental health services be a good idea? But then she would never be allowed to finish her major... 

She shook her head. No she was just wishing for something, it was nothing serious... nothing more than that... Right?

Impulsively she took a sticky note and wrote something on it. "This is not real. He is not real."   
She stuck it at the fridge and stared at it for a moment.

Why did she still feel so sad?... Why did she yearn for him so much?... Why did she question if he was actually real and her wishful heart wouldn't stop beating so hard in her chest? 

A picture of him flashed up in her mind. She shivered, a cold and hot sensation rushing through her.

"This is not real." She spoke out with a quivering voice .

She gulped her coffee down and hurried, making her way to University. 

_________________________

She sat down on one of the tables and opened her notebook. She freezed when she saw what laid in it. She stared at it. Her drawing...

Cheerful, adoring eyes gazed brightly at her. MC's heart became heavy like a rock. Her eyes prickled and her tummy tingled. 

There was no way she could get him out of her mind, wasn't there?

She looked up and a boy came into her sight. He was staring at the picture. His eyes were wide, his face pale like a ghost. Then he stared at her. He turned around on the spot and walked out of the lecture hall.

What ... What did just happen? Why did he look afraid?  
Perplexed she examined her drawing. It looked cute. Adorable. Not scary in the slightest. 

She frowned and sighed. Some people just were weird... Why should she bother? But there was still a weird sensation, like a stone laying on the bottom of her stomach...

______________

The weather was so cold and rainy. She shivered in the freezing temperature. She couldn't wait to arrive home into wamth and dryness. She closed the zipper of her jacket just a bit more.

"Meow..."

Did... she hear something right now?

She looked around. The noise appeared again. 

"Meow!"

Then she spotted it. A little red kitten in a carton. It was drenched from the rain and shivering on its whole body.   
Her eyes widened. Who on earth would leave a little helpless animal like this alone in the rain? She clenched her fist.  
She went down and picked the little one up.   
"Hey, Baby... Everything is ok now... No need to cry anymore..."   
She held it in her hands. It was so wet and icy. A powerless meow escaped its mouth and its gaze was tired. Tears gathered in her eyes.   
"Someone is here now."   
She hugged it to her chest and covered it in her wool jacket. A soft meow was given as return. She held it comfortingly and patted it lightly.   
"What am I going to do with you? I'm not allowed to keep you. But I will bring you to the animal shelter. "  
She thought for a while. Then she decided to buy it some food first. It surely was hungry.  
"Meow!"  
She looked down at it again. Round, sparkling eyes gazed at her. She blushed. So cute.

__________________

It devoured the cat food like it was the most delicious meal of the heavens, its little pointy tail raised high. MC smiled. She could see how the power returned to its little body. 

"I wish I could keep you... You are so innocent. You don't deserve this. Why does this world always hurt the weak ones? I know how it is to be so sad and alone... I lost my mother too. But I'm not innocent like you."   
She sighed and petted its head.   
"Little Baby."  
"Meow!"  
She chuckled: "You remind me of someone. He is cute just like you and seems just as lost. I.... I really like him...he is important to me.... He makes my life bearable..."  
A thought appeared in her mind "I wish I wouldn't wake up from these dreams" but she heavily shook her head, as if to chase it away. Her heart fluttered at the thought neitherless, betraying her. No... No she wasn't allowed... Shame filled her insides with bitterness. 

She sighed. "Come on, lets bring you to the shelter."

She picked it up and continued walking.

_______________

On her way home a range of emotions filled her. She was scared of what would await her at night and yet far more intigrued. She felt like a moth drawn to an open flame, stuck in a dance of dangerous balance. She dreamed and she wanted to dream. Yet she was cautious not to cross the line.  
This feeling... it was what people called "haunted".

At first she had compared the little kitten with Yoosung. But now that she was alone with her thoughts, she realised it symbolized her very well... Cold and lonely, lost and forgotten.   
But now... now there was a warm light of imagination, helping her to survive.  
Her heart fluttered. She thought of him. Even if it seemed dangerous to lose oneself in such dreams, her longing was far too strong. She wanted to be unreasonable and the intensity of that wish scared her. He was far too wonderful and she liked him too much than to give up on him. 

At home she ate in a high speed and went to bed without hesitation, even though it was only seven PM. 

________________

There he stood, tossled hair, violet eyes shimmering with longing and wearing a blue pullover. Without hesitation her feet moved like on their own, running towards him. She threw her arms around him, tugging him close to her. 

He closed his arms around her so tightly, it felt like he wouldn't let her leave. She breathed in his scent and sighed. 

She mumbled: "I want to stay with you. I want to be closer to you..." 

"Me too. More than you will ever know" ,he whispered.

"You are important to me. It is as if I have known you in my heart for all this time." 

"Of course. We both are the same. We were always connected." 

He went a few inches back, breaking the hug and looked into her eyes: "You mean everything to me, MC. You are so pure and warm. I will always protect you."

"I... I want to give something back. What can I do?"

"Be mine. Stay loyal to me. Look only at me, smile only for me. Cherish me. And never leave me." 

She gazed at him, her heart pounding in her chest. She could feel his emotions. And her own emotions answered. She would have never guessed that she would enjoy words like these. The reasonable side in her would be alarmed and panicked. But she wanted to be unreasonable. She wanted to jump into this glowing river, flowing under her. 

Her face drew closer to his. She looked at his lips. She wanted to be closer to him, it was like a spell. 

His face became bright red: "W-What are you doing?"

She looked into his eyes again. He looked torn.

"Kiss me."

His eyes grew wide: "MC..."

She tried to get closer but he broke away. His face was red like a tomato. He shivered.

"It takes all my power to control myself. Please don't tempt me."

"But why? All I want is a kiss." ,she said in a quiet voice.

He sighed. "As long as you don't believe in me, how would you be able to consent?" 

"But i believe in you.", she answered.

His gaze grew sad. A very calm kind of sad. "No... you don't."

She felt like a monster, seeing him like this. What was she doing to him, since the day of his birth? He opened his mouth, wanting to protest. But she got torn out of the dream and woke up in her dark room. 


	8. Chapter 7 -No, I must be dreaming

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: Sexual Assault but not graphic! I refused to write it graphic so that some people won't get triggered. 
> 
> So, this chapter is really intense.... Im wondering if its good. I worked hard on it
> 
> Chapter Title inspired by Bleed from Evanescence

So much paperwork... She groaned and massaged her aching forhead. Work in the office just grew to be extra hard since this week. Usually she enjoyed hard work for the distraction it gifted her. But even this was too much. 

They had gotten a new boss in the department, a young man but he wasn't really talented in managing everything. He seemed nice though, from the times she had chatted with him. But really... She sighed. At least he should be able to do his job correctly...

And that she daydreamed of Yoosung all the time didn't help with her working speed. Too often she caught herself dreaming about him with tummy full of tingling butterflies. It was like she took some drugs, her whole body felt like she was on a non stop rollercoaster. She had never felt something this intense before. If her mind didn't work properly, how should she tackle all this paperwork?

She stood up to take a break, a little tea should help. She got her cup and entered the break room. Natalie sat there, greeting her with a cheeky grin on her lipstick lips that confused her. MC greeted back politely and sat down on the table as well. She felt like she got eyed from her coworker and it made her uncomfortable.   
"It's sooooooo obvious."  
MC turned to her and blinked: "What?"  
She grinned. "You are in love like a little school girl. It's written all over your face all the time."

Her insides felt as if she was falling down a deep cliff.

Natalie laughed: "Oh boy, look how pale you have gotten. You look so shocked. It's not something bad, trust me. It's refreshing to see you this emotional, usually you are really reserved."

Mc felt like her breath were cutt off: "No... You misunderstand... I'm not in love..."

Natalie smiled: "I can see you are afraid but trust me, it's fine."

Except when it's someone who doesn't even exist, Mc thought and swallowed hard. No... Her coworker just misunderstood things. 

"So who is it? The new boss? He is flaming hot after all." 

"What? No..." She answered confused.

Natalie frowned disappointed: "What a pity. It would have been perfect, he clearly has an eye on you, as much as he had checked you out."

Her boss had checked her out? It made her feel uncomfortable. Just as this conversation.

"...I have to go now. Bye Natalie." She said and quickly escaped the room.

She breathed out heavily. She hated conversations like these.

  
___________________

She got back to her desk, got some papers and went to the copy room. Surprisingly she now was grateful for the ton of work.

The door closed behind her as she went to the machine. She put the papers in. 

"Hello "

She almost jumped at the suprise scare. She turned around her boss was there. 

"Oh, hello Mr. Miguel. You scared me."

He sighed, looking at her frustrated: "There is something I quite not understand." 

She looked quietly at him, waiting for him to continue. 

"It's almost as something is trying to hold me off from you. Had some really, really nasty nightmares the past days. But they shouldn't stop me, right?. I always get what I want."

Her heart dropped: "W-what are you saying?"

He closed in and pushed her against the wall, looking at her hungrily: "I'm saying that I find you really attractive. I'm mad over such innocent, sweet women like you."

Her insides twisted, he was far too close: "You are too close. Please let go of me. I am not interested."

She tried to get away but he didn't left her any opening. She panicked.

"I love it when they are so shy they can't even admit they like me. Don't be ashamed, it's okay." He grinned. 

"No! You really are too close! I-"

Her words died in her throat when his hand moved down her body. She tried to fight back but her arms got pinned above her head. 

She felt so vulnerable and trapped tears filled her eyes: "Let me go!"

It was like her heart sent out a call for help. With tightly closed eyes, her mind screamed.

A murderous anger filled her, like a burning fire. But it didn't feel like her own emotions. 

Her boss froze and let go of her, staggering.  
He tottered some more, sunk down and finally broke down on the floor, eyes closed. 

She breathed heavily and stared down at him with wide eyes. What did just happen? His chest rose up and down.

Tears flooded her face. She didn't care what did happen right now, she just was glad to be out from his grip, she wanted to escape from that place, as far as possible. With blurred sight she hurriedly got her bag and jacket and escaped the office without telling anyone or calling for help. At her whole way home, tears ran down her cheeks and she gasped for air. When she finally arrived, she whimpered and sobbed loudly. She threw herself on the bed and cried. She could still feel his dirty hands fondling her down there... 

She was so tired. Of everything. Of her miserable life...

After an hour, she stopped crying. She felt cold and dirty, all over her body. Her head and eyes hurt and burned. She lifelessly went to her medicine case and took a few sleeping pills, she just wanted to sleep now as quick as possible. Her wish got fullfilled, soon she drifted to sleep. 

______________

"Mc"

She stood in a cold and rainy darkness. She felt miserable. She looked up, saw him hurrying to her.

He took her into his arms, shedding tears: "I couldn't arrive sooner. I was busy with that bastard but I am here now. I am so sorry."

She sobbed into his chest and he held her close, as she sunk down on the ground he went down with her, resting her against him.

"He will never be able to hurt you or anyone else again" She heard him say. His voice sounded cold and dangerous, a shudder went through her. 

"Really?"

"Yes."

She breathed out rattling, relief rushed through her. 

"I will never leave you on your own again. I will be always with you all the time to protect you. I am sorry. I am so sorry."

"Thank you..." She whimpered.

He carassed her back: "I love you. I will always be here for you no matter what. I will always protect you." 

"Thank you Yoosung. Please Protect me."

"I definetely will."

She squeezed him and he planted a kiss on her head in return.

"Yoosung. I am tired. Of everything. I am tired of my damned life, of everything. I keep fighting every day , giving my best and then such a thing happens. I am so damn tired!"

"I will make your life beautiful. I will make you smile every day. We will go to a wonderful world with eternal happiness. With love and hope. It won't take long anymore." 

It sounded comforting...

"You are okay with body contact right now from me?"

"Yes. I need it right now. Please be close."

He stood up, carrying her in his arms. She didn't know where they went, but she felt safe with him and he was everything she needed right now. She rested her head against him with closed eyes. 

When he let her down she opened them again. They were in a kind of cozy corner in a closed room, full of pillows and blankets. Soft light shone through fairy lights. 

"I am going to remove the memory of his touch from you body through hovering my hands above it. Is that okay?"

She nodded. He laid her down on the matress and moved his hand around above her, hovering but not touching her. It felt like poison spilling out of a wound. Tears of relief filled her eyes. He smiled so warmly at her, it was a warmth that would always welcome her. 

"I am going to cuddle you now."

He laid down beside her and took her into his arms. It was strange how intensily comforting it was. She closed her eyes and let his warmth heal her open emotional wound. After a while she opened them again, looking at him. His face was so gentle and the fairy lights made it even softer. He looked so beautiful, it was breathtaking. 

Then she spotted something. A dark brown-red spot on his shoulder. It looked like something dried up.  
"What is that?"

She pointed at it. 

He got up and looked at it: "Oh seems like I missed a spot. It's nothing serious. Can you imagine a wet towel for me please?"

She did and as it popped up, he used it to wipe the spot away. Then he laid down beside her again.

She smiled at him, thinking about how grateful she was for his comfort. She felt so tired.

After a while she fell asleep. Although after waking up she thought about how weird it was to be asleep in a dream.

______________

In the next day she woke up surprisingly refreshed. The harsh contrast between yesterday and today utterly confused her. She felt strong and powerful instead of powerless and hopeless. Like as if she actually had the power to talk in the office and police station about what had happened. 

She wasn't going to let him get away with this. He would pay for it and everyone would know who he actually was. 

______________

When she arrived in the office it was unsually quiet. Her heart pounded to up to her head. Her eyes searched for Mr. Miguel but she couldn't see him anywhere. Reliefed she released her breath. 

But it was strange, there were a lot less coworkers here today... And they looked exhausted. 

A female coworker spotted her. Cimberly. She walked up to her: "Can I speak you in private, please?"

Confused, she nodded and followed her. 

Cimberly closed the door behind her.

"Yesterday was hard. Something bad happened. I better let you know, so you know what's up." Cimberly said.

"What happened?", Mc asked frightened.

She figdetted with her hands: "We found our new boss Mr. Miguel passed out on the floor. He seemed to be in a passed out state but it was also kind of as if he had bad hallucinations or a nightmare. He started to yell very loudly. It was horrible. Everyone tried to do something but no one could get him out of that state, he never stopped screaming. And then... He went quiet. When the ambulance finally arrived they took him with them but he was already dead."

Tears gathered in Cimberlys eyes:" It was horrible. I can see why you look so shocked now. A lot of us stayed home today. You can leave too if you want, you look like you need it."

Mc raised her hands, seeing how they were shaking. She felt dizzy, icy cold and at the same time hot. Everything came together in her head, she heard his voice from her dream. 

"I was busy with him but I am here now. He will never hurt you again."

The spot on his shoulder... 

The rage that had flooded her and had felt not like her own. 

Him collapsing just as he had tried to harm her.

Yoosung killed him.

He was real.

He killed someone.

He was actually real.

He killed someone.

No... She must be dreaming...

Her head started spinning. In a far distance she heard the worried voice of her coworker. 

He was _real._


	9. Chapter 8 - Evil Angel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, don't  
Leave me to die here  
Help me survive here  
Alone, don't  
Surrender, surrender
> 
> Put me to sleep, evil angel  
Open your wings, evil angel
> 
> Fly over me, evil angel  
Why can't I breathe, evil angel?
> 
> Breaking Benjamin - Evil Angel

Everything was overwhelming. The storm of emotions inside her heart was a utter mess. Her chest felt so narrow, she was not able to breath properly. It was almost like suffocating. 

Was she scared? She didn't know. She didn't know anything. The confusion, the shock, it was so big, so overwhelming.

The words of her coworker appeared in her mind again and again:   
"He yelled so loudly... He never stopped screaming..."

A chill rushed through her.

She felt his presence. Inside her. She felt him watching her, following her every step. A heavy drowsiness laid on her, nagging on her. But she knew it was him trying to get to her. Like a breath on her neck.

She mustn't fall asleep. 

She went inside the grocery store like a zombie and bought five cans of energy drinks. Then she rushed outside and drank two of them in a hurry with shaking hands.

People stared at her. She didn't care. 

What did he do to him...? What was it that she didn't know about him?  
So was there a cruel side to him? What was he capable of? 

What did he do...?

"He never stopped screaming..."

A picture of Yoosungs sweet kind smile flashed in front of her inner eye. Her sweet, innocent Yoosung killed someone. 

Tears gathered in her eyes. A sob escaped her. Now she recognized one of the many emotions of the huge storm inside her.

Sadness. 

Her sight got blurry. In her own ears her sobbing sounded so pathetic. Alien, even. 

"There you are. It was about time" , said the emotionless voice of a girl.

She stopped in her tracks and wiped her tears, searching surprised for the person who just spoke to her.

A girl with light grey wavy hair stood in front of her. She was a lot smaller than her, but the thing that caught the eye the most were her foggy grey eyes. They were so hollow of emotion. She also wore a big dark dress. Everything about her looked like a victiorian ghost girl. 

"Who are you? What do you mean you have waited?", she asked. Her voice still sounded so patheticly fragile.

"You have some trouble with a male ghost, don't you? Yoosung is his name. Follow me." She almost sounded bored. 

She turned around and walked ahead. Mc stood there surprised for a second but then followed. She stared at the small girl walking in front of her. 

"How do you know? Who are you?"

"I will explain later. He won't be able to follow us. Our conversation will take place in complete privacy."

She recognized it now. Yoosungs presence had faded. She shivered.

"Well, he will be sick of worry and full of other emotions for being seperated from you for this short time. But that is something you will have to deal with when you face him again." 

Mc remained silent and swallowed.

"We are here" Her bored sounding voice said. She opened a door to an old looking shop. Mc followed her inside, and the girl led her to a small table. Everything in this shop was dusty and dark. It looked like a witch shop. Candles, herbs, crystals. A cat.

The girl sat down on the dark table and looked at her with her empty eyes. Mc swallowed and sat down too.

"I am a medium. Or a witch with special abilities. Whatever you want to call me of these both is fine. I am half human half ghost. I made it myself the duty to mediate between these two worlds. And because of my abilities, I knew that you would be my next client, what it was about and where I would find you."

A weight fell off her chest. Finally she didn't feel so lost anymore. Now there was actually someone to talk to. 

"Thank you. I feel so lost and confused but now I have someone to talk to..."

The girl just looked at her with empty grey eyes.

Mc took a deep breath: "He is real... And he killed someone..."

"Yes" she replied.

Mc started to sob. The whole storm inside her finally released itself through the tears. Despair, sadness. Shock. 

"He saved you. And he is not human. What he did was completely natural considering his nature and his feelings for you."

In a weird sense these words gave her a lot of comfort. Just like this whole conversation. It lessened the intensity of the situation she was stuck in.

"I wonder what he actually did. Is there a Yoosung I don't know? Do I even know who he is at all? I didn't even believe that he was real until that. He is sweet and kind. Full of light. He is important to me. I can't imagine him covered in blood... I don't want him to be a murderer..."

The girl closed her eyes. "What he did was to torture the man who tried to rape you. His death was only the desired byproduct."

With wide eyes she stared at the girl. An icy chill went through her.

Tortured... To death...

The girl opened her eyes: "Ghosts can be very cruel."

A shiver rushed through her whole body.

"But they also can be incredibly, incredibly affectionate." The medium continued and smiled for the first time. It was the first time there was emotion but it was a quick moment. Then the empty expression greeted her again. 

"Over ten years ago, you saw a magical comet as a lonely child and made a wish. You wished for someone to give you company. But you wished it to be someone only for you and no one else... Which is completely logical for a lonely child starving for company and love. Such things like these happen very very rarely, a ghost being born to only exist as company for a single person. I would never have thought to have a case like this in front of me ever in my life. But there is a reason why it is so rare... To wish for such a thing is immensely dangerous..."

Mc lowered her gaze in shame.

"Ghosts are different than humans. They feel emotions much more intense. Take in consideration: You are the only purpose for his existence... Through your wish you are the only available source of happiness, of connection, of love... You are everything to him. Without you a fate worse than death awaits him. A fate of despair and immense suffering. He is dependent on you. In every case of the matter. "

There was a bitter sting of sadness and guilt inside her.

"Ghosts, by their usual nature, tend to be able to grow very posessive. To multiply that with the intensity of his affection and dependance on you..."

Her gaze became very serious, such a harsh contrast to her usual hollow eyes: "He is completely obsessed with you. He managed to hide the intensity of it until now and keep it to a human level for your eyes. But his obsession and possesiveness will only continue to grow. Far over the level of human insanity. He won't try to control it anymore... He won't be able to anyways."

Mcs eyes widened. Her heart beat hard in her chest, her stomach a turmoil of many uncertain tingling and heavy emotions. 

"The protective barrier of your soul recognized this danger back then when you made your wish and before he could even approach you, he was tossed far away from you and you were kept hidden from him. But that barrier fell down a few months ago. Because your protective barrier recognized he would bring you more gain than disadvantage at that point. Which means..."

She paused.

"...Which means you had planned to take your own life."

Her breath was cut off, her throat tied off. Blood rushed into her cheeks as she lowered her face in shame. She felt trapped, guilty. Naked. She already felt so gut wretchingly guilty about these desires. For someone to see them, was far worse. 

"I don't take any side in this matter. As medium I never take sides. And as it is my duty, I will inform you that I am able to cut off that tie between you both. You wouldn't see or feel each other again. Which would bring a lot of suffering to you both. There is a possibility it could mean your own death. But you have a choice in this. If all I said is too much for you then-"

The medium stopped. Mcs whole body shook, tears rolling down on her face which was wrinkled in pain. She sobbed and whimpered loudly.  
"Please don't seperate us! Please don't take him away from me!"

"I won't do anything you don't ask of me." She replied.

"Don't you understand? Even though you know I wanted to kill myself? I am just as lost as him. He means everything to me as well. All this time I was seperated from him was hell. I finally feel happy with him. He makes my life bearable. Finally he is with me. I finally found him after all this time... How could I ever do this to him? How could I be so cruel?"

The witch seemed unimpressed. "I know. But I still will make this offer to you."

"I can't lose him... ", she said.

"And what will you do when he shows all this obsession with you? Posesses every part of you?" The girl asked emotionless.

Mc didn't answer. She lowered her face again, looking at the table. She felt the sharp gaze of the girl studying her. Again she felt naked.

"Ooohhhh... So it is that way..." a chuckle filled the room. 

Her head snapped up, her face flushed with anger, eyes shooting arrows. 

The medium still chuckled, her eyes glistering with excitement.  
"This is so interesting! So interesting!"

That was enough. Her eyes were swollen and burning and her head hurt as if she was beaten up. She talked about everything and had a clear mind now.

"You want to go?"

"Yes." She said strongly.

"You want to stay with him? Even though he is a murderer?"

"...I will talk to him." she said in a weak voice.

"Alright." The girl smiled at her. "I had never had such a fun talk and case in a long time."

Mc inspected her. She was such a weird girl. But also she was charming in that weird way. And immensily annoying.

"What is your name?"

She stood up from the chair and went over to her now meowing cat: "Chalesor."

"Goodbye Chalesor."

She picked her cat up and waved. "Goodbye, Mc."


	10. Chapter 9 - The last open Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I believe that dreams are sacred  
Take my darkest fears and play them  
Like a lullaby  
Like a reason why  
Like a play of my obsessions  
Make me understand the lesson  
So I'll find myself  
So I won't be lost again
> 
> All that I'm living for  
All that I'm dying for  
All that I can't ignore alone at night  
All that I'm wanted for  
Although I wanted more  
Lock the last open door, my ghosts are gaining on me
> 
> All that I'm living for - Evanescence

The last open door

She stepped outside the witch shop, shooting a last glance behind. She felt grateful and smiled, while she heard the last meow of the cat. 

It was evening outside. She closed the door.

In the exact second the door closed shut a immensily heavy drowsiness crushed down on her like the weight of water running of a barrel. She broke down on the street, too tired and powerless to even move. 

But just a second before she fell asleep, a lot of it lifted from her again. With wide eyes she gasped heavily.

"Go Home. Now." 

A wave of goosbumps rushed over her skin, her heart beating madly. 

His voice... It had sounded so brittle. The kind of brittle voice of someone that had cried heavily. And there was anger... The hurt anger of a beaten animal.

She felt it, these emotions. It cut her breath. Adrenalin rushed through her veins hot and white. 

She stood up from the ground and walked quickly in the direction of her flat. Her breath was heavy and quick, she gasped for air. He was silent and the silence felt dangerous. Yet he was so close. Closer than usual, as if he walked right behind her, just an inch away.

She didn't dare to say a word. She just walked and obeyed, submitted to his power and will.

He had been worried sick. Scared, full of fear. She realised now just how he had felt. Uncertain where she went with a suspicious stranger, shut off from his reach. 

Goosebumps again. She felt guilty. She had made him suffer. Her shoulders dropped, her head hung low. How much had he suffered? 

She had never experienced him like this. Although this was exactly what Chalesor had told her. It was scary. Very scary. She felt his power for the first time, dominating her... but... 

There were these tingling sensations inside her belly, moving above to her chest like a warm spring, confusing her. She knew he could feel it through their connection. Her cheeks were burning. She felt so exposed.

It only added to her shame and guilt to feel like this.

He remained silent. She swallowed and focused on walking. 

________________________

She arrived in front of her flat. With shaking hands she fished for her keys, turning them in the lock. She could literally hear her own heartbeat in her ears. 

The door opened, the darkness of the flat greeted her. She swallowed.

She stared into the darkness, hesitating. 

This was her own decision. It was clear as crystal and she accepted to face what would lay behind it. 

"I'm sorry Yoosung... Please let me explain..." She said quietly to him in her head. Then she entered the flat and closed the door. 

As soon as the door closed behind her, she wavered, stumbling to the bed with her last power, falling down on it. Instantly she drifted into slumber. 

The next thing that greeted her eyes was his backside turned to her. She knelt on the ground. She stared at him. He quivered and soon she heard his sobs. 

"Do you even realise... How much I was worried?..."

Her head dropped, her shoulders low.

"You were already in a terrible state. I was trying to get through to you, to talk with you. But you wouldn't let me. And then that strange suspicious... and _dirty._.. halfghost appeared... And you followed her and disappeared from my reach..."

He breathed in raspily. 

"All kinds of scenarios filled my head while I tried so hard to find you. All the things she could have done to you tortured me while I couldn't protect you. Do you even realise all the things she could have done? Do you even realise how much I suffered? How terrified I was, bawling my eyes out here all alone?"

Tears filled her eyes and soon she was crying too. 

"I am so sorry. So sorry..." 

He turned around, such a hurt expression

"Why did you do it then? Why?!"

"It... it was very important. And it helped me a lot to... Come to terms with what happened and my feelings for you... I want to explain what happened."

He sighed heavily, closing his eyes. 

"Alright... But first..."

He stepped up to her, kneeling down. As always his closeness made her heartbeat increase. She looked into his face, distracted, until she noticed what he was doing... With rope in his hands...

"What..."

He didn't answer. He tied her up, restraining her. She stared at him. His gaze switched to her for a second. Hurt anger. She swallowed and averted her gaze. 

He backed up a bit from her to look at her. She was overwhelmed, didn't know what to feel or what to say. 

Then slowly... she saw and felt how he relaxed, peace filling him. His features became slowly soft, just like his breath. She felt how her cheeks burned and her tummy tingled and closed her eyes in a failed attempt to hide from him. Then she heard how he sat down in front of her. 

"This calms me down a bit..."

She remained silent.

"Now you can't run off anywhere... I have you all to myself."

Her belly tingled. Surely not the right thing to feel in a situation like this. She knew there was something wrong with her... 

...But... She felt safe. Protected. Loved.

She was ashamed that he could see all this inside her. 

It was quiet for some time. She dared to open her eyes again. He sat in front of her, with closed eyes, breathing slowly. 

She stared at him. He looked so beautiful. Her belly tingled again. 

His eyes shut open, returning her gaze, with warmth. She averted hers, blushing. 

"You are beautiful too... More than beautiful..."

She still didn't dare to look at him. 

"Seeing you like this... And feeling these emotions of yours... It even makes all these worries and angers I had fade away..."

Bubbles rose up inside her.

"Now. You wanted to explain yourself. Do it."

She slowly turned to face him again. The murder he did popped into her head.

"You killed someone.."

"Yes. I killed that man. I would do it again anytime."

Her eyes went wide, her insides turned.   
"No! Don't you realise... I was so shocked. So... Sad. I don't want you to be a murderer. I can't bear it. I was so confused and shocked, that's why I didn't face you."

"I gave him what he deserved."

She just stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"You don't need to fight with your high morals. And I am no human being, you know that. I did exactly what you wished for. I know that you actually wanted him to suffer for what he did." He said sweetly, caressing her cheek. 

A cruel, bloodthirsty smile formed on his face. His eyes sparkled with insanity: "And oh, oh how he suffered for it!..."

A shiver run through her, goosebumps all over her skin. He looked so scary.

"As long as I live, no one will ever hurt you or lay a finger on you without paying severly... They will never get the chance to get that far..."

She quivered.  
"Please" she whimpered "Don't kill anyone ever again. I don't want you to be a murderer... I..."

He looked surprised, his eyes widened. Then his brows furrowed, a single tear running down his face.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked with a brittle voice.

"I... Don't know." she replied.

He looked at her and took her into his arms.

"I don't want to hurt you... Alright ... I promise you."

He backed away a bit to look into her eyes again.

"I... Will only kill people when it is necessary! Just like with that man. That is all I can promise you in order to protect you... Alright? For you!" 

She looked at him and realised just how much he compromised for her with this. She could feel how hard it was for him. 

She appreciated that.  
"..Thank you.." She said. A very heavy weight lifted from her chest.

"If I had known he was that kind of man I would have killed him sooner. He was the only one I killed so far anyway. I thought he was only interested in you so I just gave him nightmares. I am so sorry... If I had known sooner, I could have saved you..."

He hugged her again, very tight. 

She felt warmth and closed her eyes. 

But then she realised something odd about what he said. 

"What do you mean with nightmares?"

He tensed. His voice was dark and sharp,   
"No. That is something I won't even discuss with you. I already made my compromise." 

She shivered.

"But I can assure you I don't hold people off from befriending you, if they wanted to. Even if it would tear on me and bother me..." He added quickly.

She already thought he wouldn't be the cause of that. Relieved she released a breath.

She remained silent for a while, inspected him. He looked unreadable. She remembered her conversation with Chalesor. He wasn't human. He was dependent on her and possessive. It was his nature coupled with the nature of their bond...

And she had accepted all of this. Because she was just as dependent on him. Because he was so important to her. And because... because...

Her face got tinted in a deep red of shame.

...Because she enjoyed it...

"So.. you wanted to know what I talked about with that girl?" She quickly asked to distract him before he could notice.

His expression changed instantly.  
"Yes."

She swallowed.   
"She introduced herself to me as a half ghost medium that mediates between these worlds. She said through her special abilities she knew I was her next case. She wanted to help me in my confusion. And she did just that..."

He seemed to relax a lot. His face softened, just like his posture. 

"And... She explained many things to me. About you... And weirdly about me too. That bond that we share... What we mean for each other... What danger it can hold too and if I was sure what I was doing. And what I feel for you... I realised... "

Her cheeks flushed "I love you. I love you so madly... I want to be with you. I just realised this..."

His eyes widened. Then they sparkled, his cheeks growing red. His gaze became so soft... 

He moved over her, still on his knees, taking her face into his hands. She stared into his eyes above hers. They glowed so brightly, so intense. It was in that moment, that she really and fully realised just how crazy he actually was over her. She couldn't tear her eyes away from the intensity and insanity...

Then his face crashed down on hers, his lips pressing on hers with immense passion. They moved against her with the hunger of a person starving to death. Wildly, with a hint of anger. He released her lips for a second so she could gasp for air before he crushed down on her again. Everything in her felt like exploding into thousand sparkling pieces. Tears ran down her eyes from the overwhelming emotions. Just as starved as he was, she was dying of thirst. She wanted to circle her arms around him, but the ties wouldn't let her.

He laid her down on the ground, hovering above her. He kissed her again and again and again, it didn't seem to end. She moved her lips against his, returning the kisses desperately. 

"I have waited so long. I can't control myself." He gasped and his lips crushed down on her again.

She fought against the ties, squirming. He took hold of them and ripped them off effortlessly. Then he kissed her hard once again.

She circled her arms around him, took him into a tight hug, her tummy and chest full of millions of tiny bursting bubbles. He returned the hug and after an endless seeming time they seperated, breathing heavily. 

They sat up from the ground. She gazed into his face, red and sweaty, his hair a mess, his lips swollen. It was as if the sun had crashed down on earth, she couldn't tear her eyes away from the light. 

But yet, his voice held the tint of darkness when he took her into his arms, holding her softly like a baby.

"I love you more than anything... You are mine..."


	11. Chapter 10 - We'll be together again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many fears were swimming around and around  
In my mind  
Who would have dreamed the secrets we would find
> 
> I've found a world where love and  
Dreams and darkness all collide  
Maybe this time we can leave our broken world behind  
We'll be together again  
We're just a dream in the end
> 
> Evanescence- Together Again
> 
> Guuuys sorry this chapter took sooo long somehow. Writing was harder than usual. I hope you like it!! Ps: I've made an playlist for this fic. Would you like to listen to it?

  
We'll be together again

  
"You can open your eyes now."

Yoosung removed his hands from her eyes and slowly she blinked, taking in her green surroundings. It was a lovely traditional japenese garden in stunning beauty. Her mouth dropped open. She gasped, shooting a happy gaze to Yoosung. He grinned brightly.

There were little cultivated trees around the lake of clear water which took the place in the middle of it all. Small stone plates formed a little path. The sound of flowing water was the only sound that filled the air. There was also a cute wooden bridge leading to the other side where pathways lead into mazes of bamboo. Slowly she stepped to it and sat down, dipping her bare feet and legs into the cold water. An orange koi swam by. 

"Yoosung. This is so beautiful!" ,she said in awe and looked at him. How did he know so exactly what she enjoyed and loved without her even thinking about it?

His features were soft, an heartfelt warmth in his eyes. The evening sun bathed him in orange light, he looked like an angel.

She could feel how geniunly happy he was about her joy and it only made her even more joyful. It made her feel so loved and cared for. 

"Thats nothing compared to the real surprise that awaits you." He said with a little smile.

A wide grin crossed her lips.  
"What would that be, if this is already so lovely?"

He just smiled and said nothing. But the look in his eyes made her heart skip a beat. It was so intense...

He walked to her, and sat down beside her. He took her hand into his, intervining fingers. He was so close, his violet eyes sparkling.

"You are so cute when you are happy. Your happiness is genuine, it comes unfiltered and pure right out of your heart. It means so much to me" He said sweetly. 

She blushed, her heart fluttering with that warm bubbly feeling. Had she ever felt so good before in her life?

"When you feel happy... It's like all these years of emptiness I experienced - they get erased by this immense warmth. Then I feel like I obtained something humans search for their whole lifes. My life is just right then..." 

She smiled, feeling every word of him. She was so moved, her eyes prickled with unshed tears.   
"It's like you've spoken everything that I feel. I feel the same way. When we first met and you looked so happy- I had to control myself so much to not stare at you like a creep. It was hard to tear my eyes away from something so beautiful..."

His eyes sparkled. Yes, she thought, she indeed couldn't get enough of happy Yoosung.

"Well... Now you can look as long as you wish to. Do it now."

Her face flushed, his bold words made her feel flustered.

He snorted and then broke out in laughter. Mcs cheeks only got redder, she was so embarassed. 

"Don't laugh at me!"

"But your expression!"

Mcs eyes narrowed and she pouted.

His expression softened again and his gaze intensified. All the playfullness was gone. "Now, My words were serious... Do it."

He raised his hands and cupped her face. He got closer, looking at her intently.

Her face was burning, being this exposed. She tried to move her face away but he held it in place. 

"You're embarassed? But I thought you wanted to look at me?..." He said in a a soft and mocking voice. She swallowed, a cold shower rushed through her.

His gaze was piercing her in place. She stared at him, his violet round eyes, his soft blond hair. His skin was smooth. Looking at him that intently and their emotions melting together was hypnotising. Her heart beat loud and hard in her chest. His gaze inspected every inch of her face.

The hint of a grin appeared on his lips. He closed in, moving his head beside hers. Her heart only beat more violent when he whispered into her ear in a seducing voice:  
"You are so red... And I haven't even done anything yet..."

She squealed and moved herself free. She stared at him with wide eyes, flustered and taken aback. He laughed again. 

She hid her face in her hands. She could feel how aroused he was... So he surely felt her arousal too...

She just wanted to crawl into a hole...

"Don't worry. We have time" He said softly. Then he paid all his attention to the pond, like nothing happened, watching the Koi.

She followed his example, watching the peaceful fish. The flowing water was the only sound again and soon she relaxed. It was quiet for a while.

He broke the silence. "It's still so strange. A year ago I was still in hell and now we tease each other and sit here in this beautiful garden... It's almost surreal" 

His moved sadness touched her heart and melted together with hers. She wrapped her arms around him, holding him softly.  
"I still remember that night when I made my wish.... The warmth I felt...When two lonely children find each other why do they get seperated again? This world is just cruel, we needed each other so much and still we got seperated for so long..."

He closed his eyes. "Your pleading in that night... That is one of my most treasured memories. Because it was the first thing I ever experienced in my life. It were these little whispers of yours. 'Please', you repeated again and again. And my heart as the little boy I had been would beat up with each whisper, blooming and planting roots. I would cling to that memory in my hardest times. It gave me power when I needed it. I wish I could go there again... Just to recall that memory stronger. To be there again..." He gasped.

Her heart fluttered like a little bird. She removed her arms, wrapping his hand in her two hands.  
"Thats funny... because my most beloved memory is the warmth I felt in that moment... So I had repeated my pleads back then...To feel it again and again..."

He was silent for a while. Then he started to quiver and Mc felt like a tornado of his sadness teared everything apart inside him. Surprised she looked up at him. Tears were rolling down his face, he whimpered and finally sobbed.

Mc threw her arms around him, squeezing him in a tight hug. He didn't stop sobbing and soon she was crying too. He closed his arms around her as well, drawing her closer to him. 

All the pain of the past was over now. They were together again...


End file.
